Saturday Night Slice #8 The Guts of It: Getting Published…When a Writer’s Fingers Lose Their Virginity.

The week has been no fun, boo-hoo, grueling for tedious taskmasters is always a bore, but we, alas, we spare few, we insignificant troubadours of the underworld gather into our catacombs once more for-whah?

What he say?! Troubadours of the underworld-? Haha! Who this guy think he is?! Béla Lugosi?!

I think he’s one of those actor-turned-“I’m gonna-change-the-world-with-my-words” kinda guy.

Oh…One of those guys? Really?

Zip it, would you?! But yea probably. Want some of this hot za?

Ahhhh! Definately bro! …Sho-hooof-gifs-ah-faa-lyin-fuck-whut-shum-bum-from Pennsylvania thinks? And what did you put in this pizza? Taste like dog shit dude. Like, serious dog S-H-I-T.

It’s not what’s in the pizza that should bother you, but what’s going on it…

HAHA! That sounds soooo campy man! Haha! What’s that- what’s that even mean-…wait…. really? You’re joking right.

Nope. Welcome to Saturday Night Slice… … …fucker.

And stick around after tonight’s Guts of It for news on next Saturday night’s blog!



Getting Published

Starting a blog/starting a love/starting a band/starting a book/losing one’s virginity/getting published for the first time, the title started as a whimsical joke for me at first, but “while I pondered, weak and weary,” I began to see…wow! This fucker really does fit!

*And with that I think I have exercised my two f-bomb-blog-drinking limit* …I think, hehehe.

So what am I talking about? Well, next Friday, I should be published online for the first time ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you…I’d like to thank the academy- and that joke is done. Anyhow, this news is really exciting for me, but I think what I’ve gotten most from this amazing-out-of-body-experience is the same thing when one looks back on what it was like their first time having sex, and that is…WOW! I REALLY SUCK AT THIS?! Annnd not in a good way.

But before you get the notion that I’m saying what I got published is crap, I’m not saying that. It’s special to me and always will be. I see what I was trying to do in the body of the story. The new ground I was trying to cover both in my voice, the narrative and its characters. But I also see where I was still clinging to what I had seen other writers do, like a nervous teenager mimicking a kiss from the Note Book, not realizing the perfect kiss is one entirely from one’s self. I am proud of the story and even more grateful to the website that will publish it. That pat of affirmation is a good feeling but has also become a drive to be better at what I do, take more risks and… read more classy pornography?!

I didn’t know where I was going with that, and as we all know metaphors are highly unstable contents. Just sayin.

Share your comments below about “your first,” have a great weekend, and we’ll see you back here next week at Midnight with my first published Short Story on Saturday Night Slice!

4 thoughts on “Saturday Night Slice #8 The Guts of It: Getting Published…When a Writer’s Fingers Lose Their Virginity.

  1. Back in the 90’s, I went to a writing conference in NYC and spent quality time talking to Elmore Leonard, Carol Higgins Clark and an uber agent at the time. Really mindblowing day. Anyway, the agent told me that if I wanted to get something published, to try this new internet thing and find a mag that catered to my genre. Thate genre was and is still horror. There were dozens of non paying horror zines sprouting up, and after several rejections, one poor soul of an editor, or webmaster, thought my haunted mansion story was worthy of being in the next month’s issue. I was thrilled beyond belief! Woo hoo! Mission accomplished. A story of mine was published.
    I was a happy lad.
    It only took about a year later to read that story again and groan. Man, was it bad. So bad, that I destroyed the file. I think I still have a printed copy somewhere, but it did prove that I had some ways to go. Not that it stopped me from writing and publishing more less-than-stellar stuff, but I got better as I went along, and each publication fueled my passion.
    I think all writers cringe at their first published pieces. Just goes with the job.

    • Well, I had a whole lot more to say here but [of course] the darn thing somehow erased! Urgh. Anyhow, totally agree with you. Horror, it seems, preoccupies my imagination like some possessed game of whack-a-mole!? Don’t know why. Eh. Prob never will. What I was gonna say was mainly, after this first one, I got some advice from a great friend, and together we found by going over a bunch of my stuff why certain stories I wrote had been more effective than others and why this was so.
      Great story as well btw, seriously, that was actually really boss to hear about your journey thus far.

  2. Congratulations! It is a strange feeling, though, isn’t it? To think that what was yours now belongs to the world? And, yes, I totally stole that line from someone’s lyrics. Who? I can’t say, but only because I can’t remember and Google is failing me. It is different once the story is out there. It is surreal when people mention scenes that were in my mind for so long, and I realize publication has projected my thoughts and visions into someone else’s mind. That’s some trippy stuff! It’s fun, but … absolutely strange!


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